Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Indian Political League (IPL)


Cho Ramswamy, Chief Executive of the IPL convened a press conference today in Chennai to announce the IPL 2009. According to Cho there will be only eight teams in the IPL 2009:

1. Daredevils led by Mamata Banerjee

2. Royal Challengers led by Lalu Prasad Yadav

3. Super Kings led by Rahul Gandhi

4. Knight Riders led by Amar Singh

5. Trend Setters led by Mayawati

6. Hurricane Hunters led by L.K.Advani

7. Duty Lovers led by Manmohan Singh

8. Regional Roarers by Jayalalitha

Each team will be meeting the other teams twice over a period of four weeks and they are allowed to level charges against each other. A panel of experts will examine all the chargers and allot points. The panel of experts will comprise of the following eminent personalities:

Somnath Chatterjee, Bal Thackeray, A.B.Vajpayee, Pranoy Roy and MF Hussain.

Cho further added that being the Chief Executive of the IPL he will have a casting point in case there is a tie between two teams.

The IPL 2009 will be conducted as scheduled for four weeks commencing from 16th May 2009 and by 15th June 2009 we will know who the next Prime Minister of India will be. The Prime Minister of India will then be officially announced by Mrs.Pratibha Patil, President of India.

Barrak Obama the President of United States of America felt that the Law and Order situation in the sub-continent is not very conducive for conducting the IPL 2009 in India. Whilst Cho is very confident that the IPL 2009 can be conducted peacefully in India he has finally agreed to the line of thinking expressed by Obama.

In a dramatic turn of events Cho has surprised the whole world today in the press conference by announcing his decision to host the IPL 2009 in “Mir” the Russian Space Station. While the decision is well received by the Teams and Indian Public it has nevertheless upset Obama as he expected the matches to be played in the United States of America.

The players of all the teams along with the Panel of Experts will be flown to the space station by “Shuttle” and true to its name it will make a few shuttles between the Space Station and various locations in India to transport the teams. Cho has decided to use Shuttle to give badly needed cash flow for NASA and to please Obama.

The IPL is being entirely sponsored by Satyam Computers and Cho is very confident that the additional expenses due to change in venue will be borne by the sponsors. Additional funds are being pumped into Satyam by Tech Mahindra so that the IPL matches can be smoothly held in the space station.

A special arrangement has been made with Sify for all the satelitte TV channels and cable operators to show the matches live. The Indian public can also cast their votes through the Sify outlets which are well spread across the length and breadth of India.

Cho has made several visits to the Chanchalguda Prison in Hyderabad to discuss the financial aspects of conducting the IPL 2009 with Raju. It is learnt through reliable sources that Srini was present during all the meetings though he would prefer the media to believe that the meetings were conducted only by Raju. Cho has also visited Bombay to meet Mr.Anand for the additional funding to be provided by Tech Mahindra.

In a surprise move while closing the Press Meet Cho has announced that the entire proceeds of the IPL 2009 will be given to NASSCOM as there are several million pink slip holders from the IT and ITES Industry who are standing (literally standing outside NASSCOM offices in India) members of the Association.

The Captains of the teams (who are also the owners) have already conducted a public auction and selected players for their teams.

The team members will be announced by the Captains only on 15th May 2009 during the Shuttle flight. Cho has thanked the Russian government for quick support in agreeing to conducting the IPL 2009 in “Mir”. Cho is leaving by a special Russian Aircraft this afternoon to oversee the arrangements in the Russian Space Station.

- T.P.Anand, 12th May 2009 (a humorous thought process – not to offend any individual)

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