The first impression we make is always the best impression.
We create a good or a bad impression through our
communication. Communication need not
always be oral or written it can also be through gestures, body language and
above all through your silence.
There are several styles of communication. Some of the popular styles are passive, aggressive
and assertive.
Do you know your communication style? Are you following the same style in all
places and in all situations? Is your
communication style creating the right impression in the minds of the people
about you and is that what you aspire for or desire?
I am an assertive communicator.
I actively listen to others and make my point very clear and loud in an
assertive manner. If there is a
situation where the other person is not seeing my point of view, I will not
push too hard and agree to disagree by appreciating the other view point. I have seen that this helps in not building
unnecessary arguments and personal conflicts.
This assertive communication style has exhibited my real intentions
which is to have a win-win situation all the time.
Communication builds relationship and the focal point of every
relationship is that neither of them will Lose at any given situation. It is always Win-Win and hence the
relationship continues for several years.
In order to have the win-win situation it is important not to adopt the
passive or aggressive style of communication.
I went with my family to a cloth store when my twin sons were about
12 years old. I started selecting
clothes for them one by one and each of my selection got rejected by them. At some point I felt that I am adopting an
aggressive style of communication by choosing clothes on their behalf. I quickly realised my mistake and took a back
step and told them please go ahead and select what you like. Try it out and if it fits you we will
buy. I stayed with them in the shopping
hall, waited for them to try the clothes and when asked for opinion gave my
honest opinion and finally they ended up buying something of their choice. Surprising they also bought fewer clothes
that what I had selected. At the end, it
was a happy shopping experience for all.
They got what they wanted, they were happy that it was their choice, I
ended up paying less for the shopping and in turn learnt a lesson that my
colour choice was completely out of sync with their choice.
I went to a restaurant with few friends and was not in a great
mood. I told them anything they order is
fine for me and I will also have a coffee at the end with “less sugar”. They ordered food of their choice and it was
certainly nowhere near my taste and liking.
After eating the horrible food I also ended up having coffee which had
too much sugar in my opinion. The rest
of the folks in the table found the food to be delicious and the coffee was
found to be good with right amount of sugar.
Right amount of sugar for them was too much sugar for me. After that experience I decided that I will
clearly tell the food of my choice and when I order coffee I always say
“without sugar” but bring the sugar separately so that I can add.
When our communication is aggressive we create a bad impression in
the minds of the other people. We come
across as an autocratic person with high-handed approach. When our communication is passive we irritate
others as being dis-interested in the conversation or relationship because we
avoid eye contact. We end up building
anger or resentment in the minds of other persons and thus the impression
created is not good.
When our communication is assertive our communication is clear,
body language is positive, eye contact is maintained, clarity of thoughts is
exhibited and finally we will create a good impression.
Leaving others with a good impression and carrying a good
impression about the others is actually a key to having healthy
relationship. Our life is all about
relationships and how we maintain and nurture them.
Be assertive in your communication, maintain a healthy relationship
with everyone and leave a good impression about yourself at all times.
T.P.Anand
Dubai, U.A.E
4th February 2019
